corpus christi and other things

priest1Things are relatively quiet here at HQ of the World Problem Solution Society and Coffee Klatch. Walter and Lurlene Sue were gone for a week to a secret conference that they didn’t want to discuss right now and just got back. Trooper Shiny held down the fort and made sure Malvina was fed and milked. He even did a Paula Deen tribute and churned some butter while Lurlene Sue was gone.

As Walter was catching me up on his events. he said, “I even took the time to go to church while we were down south. Now you know that I’m a staunch Southern Ba’tist, but the only church in walkin’ distance from the motel was one of them Catlick churches. Now, I’m pretty sure that God stops by there, too, so I took a chance and stopped in.”

I thought about how much Walter and Lurlene Sue love beer and line dancing, so I’m not real sure just how staunch his “Ba’tistry” is. But it was his story and, as always, I was willing to listen.

“Well, Yak, it’s the first time I ever been to one of them Catlick churches and they’s kinda different from what I’m used to. First off, ya gotta be in really good shape to go there. Them folks get up, sit down, get up and squat down so much that my bum knee was killin’ me by the time the service was over.

“Second, they must not have any preachin’ classes at that priest school they go to. There was neither hell-fire nor brimstone at any time during that guys little sermon. Now how do they expect folks to come to Jesus if the can’t preach?”

I thought a little about my visits with the grandkids to Catholic churches and found that, to a degree, I had to agree with Walter. Any time I find myself agreeing with Walter, it worries me.

“What was most worrisome,” Walter said, “was there was not one good foot stompin’, holler hallelujah gospel song the whole day. Now what kinda meetin’ is that?

“Anyway, they make you get up to go through this line where they shove a little biscuit in yer mouth and then give you a sip before you go back to your bench. The little Mexican priest was whispering to everybody as they went through the line. When it was my turn I figured he was just probably homesick, ’cause he shoved that little biscuit in my mouth and said ‘Corpus Christi.’ I chewed it real fast and said, ‘Naw, I’m from Poteet, but I been there a coupla times. Ya ever go to the Water Street Oyster Bar?

“It was all very interesting, but next time I go outta town I’m just gonna get in the truck and find me a good Ba’tist church to go to. At least I’ll know what to expect.”

Blessings to all of you. Thanks for stopping by – and don’t let Walter stop you from coming back.

Happy trails.

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