more reading from the road

Here is some more of my reading from the road. You can tell it’s election time from many of the bumper stickers. And some of these can be tacky and offensive to some. . .so read with care.

More bumper stickers:

Jesus Loves You
Everyone else thinks you’re just an asshole

He who laughs last thinks slowest

Don’t Steal – the government hates competition

Occupy a bath – Socialism stinks

C.A.M.P. –
Can’t Afford Motel Prices

I’m only speeding ’cause I really have to poop

Where the hell is Easy St?

Horn broken
Watch for finger

Because not everyone can be on welfare

Stay back
Stupidity is contagious
I don’t want to catch yours

Hey Barack
I’m Baroke

If I passed you on the right
You’re in the wrong lane

I could do so much
If I only had minions

I’m not a tease
I’m just a reminder of what you can’t have

That Obama sticker on your car
might as well say, “Yes, I’m stupid!”

I’m not a racist
I don’t like Biden either

I’ll take a Mormon
Over a Moron

I don’t have a short attention span
I just . . . Oh, look! There’s a squirrel!

So . . . how’s that “hopey, changey” thing
Workin’ our for ya?

I support the right to arm bears.

Because it’s illegal to beat the shit outta people.

A million people attended Obama’s innauguration. . .
and only fourteen missed work.

Bacon is meat candy

I’m not speeding, office. . .
I’m qualifying.

I cook with wine.
Sometimes I even put it in the food.

The government is NOT
Your baby’s daddy!

Romney. . .
At least he’s not a Commie

Forget Hope and Change. . .
I’d settle for competence!

The end of an error. . .

All my kids have paws

Obama is not Jesus. . .
Jesus could build a cabinet

Trust Obama?
I’d rather go hunting with Dick Cheney!

If I agreed with you. . .
We’d both be wrong.

Clinton ruined a dress. . .
Obama ruined a nation.

History Buff
(I’d find you more interesting if you were dead)

If Obama is the answer. . .
Then it was a really stupid question.

I’m a bitter gun owner clinging to my religion.

Chemistry is like cooking. . .
Just don’t lick the spoon!

Old sailors never die. . .
They just get a little dinghy.

God bless the farmers
Who feed your fat ass.

My software never has bugs. . .
It just develops random features.

Tact is for people
Who are not witty enough for sarcasm

Don’t spread my wealth.
Spread my work ethic.

You can’t fix stupid. . .
But you can vote it out.

Sorry for driving so close in front of you!

Don’t believe everything you think

Trample the weak. . .
Hurdle the dead.

I may look calm. . .
but I’ve already killed you three times in my head.

Legalize the Constitution.

Actually. . .
no one owes you crap!

Are you following Jesus this close?

I don’t suffer from insanity. . .
I enjoy every moment of it!

Fat people are harder to kidnap.

If you don’t like dog hair,
Don’t get in my car.

I wen’t camping. . .
and burned my wiener.

Health care for vets. . .
not illegal immigrants

Combat vet with PTSD. . .
Back Off!!!!

PETA: People for Eating Tasty Animals

Carpe Scrotum: Grab life by the balls

National Sacrasm Society
Like we need your support

I’m retired. . .
Go around me

is just fat crying

Buck Ofama

Honk if you’re voting for Obama. . .
So I can give you the finger.

That ain’t no Sasquatch. . .
That’s my sister

Jesus Saves. . .Passes to Moses. . .SCORES!!!

So far, this is the oldest I’ve ever been.

DANGER: Kills Capitalism on contact
WARNING: Keep away from wallet

Somewhere in Kenya or Indonesia,
a village is missing its idiot.

I’ve got a perfect body. . .
but it’s in the trunk and beginning to stink.

I used to have superhuman powers. . .
but my therapist took them away.

Honk if you’ve never seen a
gun fired from a vehicle.

I’m not insulting you. . .
I’m describing you.

The trouble with life
is there is no background music.

Silly liberals. . .
It’s Merry Christmas,
Not Happy Holidays.

I plan,
God laughs

A bad day with Bush. . .
Is better than any day with Obama.

You say “Redneck” like it’s
a bad thing

Obummer. . .
the Hope was Hype

LIBERAL: (noun) one who believes in “compassion”
with everyone else’s money

In dog beers
I’ve only had one!

Save the plankton. . .
Kill a whale.

GOVERNMENT: Following the Constitution
like you follow the speed limit.

The police never think
it’s as funny as you do.

Bend over. . .
here comes your stimulus package

You have the right to remain stupid. . .
anything you say can and will be ignored.

Oooops. . .
did I say that out loud?

Nuttier than squirrel poop!

I left my paycheck at the gas station. . .
They even took an IOU for the balance.

Never have so few stolen so much
from so many and achieved so little.

Heavily medicated for your

whatever it is. . .
my brother did it

Free airbag test. . .
Get a little closer.

I’m not fat. . .
I’m just fluffy.

It’s been lovely talking to you. . .
but I have to scream now.

are teople poo!

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons. . .
for you are crunchy and good with ketchup!

Don’t be trashy. . .

Although the voices in my head aren’t real. . .
they have some pretty good ideas.

If the words on this bumper sticker are getting bigger. . .

I’m not anti-social. . .
I’m just not user-friendly!!

Visualize whirled peas

Bahston Bumpah Stickah

This isn’t actually a bumper sticker. . .
It’s holding my car together.

we finish what your husband started.

I you’re rich. . .
I’m single

I love cats. . .
they taste just like chicken.

Death before Dishonor. . .
NOTHING before Coffee

I have NOT lost my mind!
It’s backed up on the server.
(and the netword is down again)

I wish I was a firefly
A firefly’s never glum
How can you be grumpy
When sun shines out you bum!

Yes, this is my truck.
No, I won’t help you move!

It’s not my fault you suck

CAUTION: Spooning can lead to forking!

So Irish my liver hurts!

Zebras are donkies wearing their jammies

RECTUM: Whut I dun to ma other 2 cars.

Support Bacteria!
It’s the only culture some people have!

7 out of 4 people
have trouble with math

I need you
like a zombie needs brains.

Spay or neuter
your local dogfighter.

To err is human.
To arr is pirate.

I’m still HOT. . .
it just comes in flashes.

STUPIDITY should be painful.

If you can read this,
I’ve lost my travel trailer.

If you’re not happy, fake it!
(nobody wants to hear your whinin’)

Some days were Sunni,
But most were Shi’ite.

RECESSION: You lose your job.
RECOVERY: Obama loses his

My son is inmate of the month @ SuperMax

Lawyers have feelings, too.

REPUBLICAN: Because I have a job
and don’t have time to protest.

You like to tailgate.
I like to shoot people.
Everybody wins!

On the journey of life. . .
Choose the psycho path.

You can run, but you’ll die tired.

Don’t play leapfrog
with a unicorn.

Politicians and diapers should be changed often,
and for the same reasons.

I am the man from Nantucket!

PILLAGING: A team building exercise.

If I keep adding to these I’ll have a book.

Hope you guys all have a happy summer. We’ll be back on the road in September (hopefully) and will begin posting more camping stuff.


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